We knew we were pregnant when I changed the name of the blog, but we were WAY too early to tell anyone.
I’m 14 weeks and the baby is due May 1st! So it could come the end of April or who knows…I was early and my mom’s first baby, so we’ll see!
Today marks my 2nd trimester (FINALLY!) and I’m really hoping I start feeling better soon. My nausea is getting a little better, but I still have plenty of it. And I feel even more exhausted now than ever, but feel so glad to be carrying this little Joub.
Getting pregnant wasn’t easy, and the timing of it has been so crazy we cannot deny the divinity of it all. More on that soon!
And as far as our announcement goes, I wanted to incorporate our last name, since it is pronounced Joe-BEAR. I thought getting a little bear suit and holding that up would be cute, and I picked up this cardboard banner from Michaels to use with it. I just used a sharpie to write our due date on it. The bear suit is from Carters, and is sooooo soft!
We can’t wait to welcome this little miracle into the world!
There’s been a few contributing factors that I’ve recognized and can call out: Cristian’s job — he’s been in training and awaiting relocation, which means we’ve been in Portland “temporarily.” I put quotes around it because at first it was supposed to be temporary. Then, the months started to go by and nothing was happening. He wasn’t getting the team members he needed. The right opportunity for relocation wasn’t available. (But good news! We’re getting closer…) So, that meant that looking for a full-time job in journalism in the Portland area wasn’t really an option, as I would most likely have to leave it soon after starting. Most likely.
So I resorted to nannying here and there, as it was the most immediate solution. I’ve hopped from one family to the next (the jobs have always been short-term or filling in for someone else) and nannied 11 children within like an 8-month time period.
I’ve gained weight — a lot of it for me — even though I’m the healthiest (and strongest) I’ve ever been probably in my entire young adult life.
I stopped taking my antidepressant/fibromyalgia drug for other health reasons.
Other facts include ones like oh, I wasn’t ready for the adjustment marriage was going to be. Don’t get me wrong — I was totally ready for marriage, especially spiritually. But morphing from an independent woman to a married one was kind of a shock to me. I love my husband. More than anything — and he’s my light and my joy. We have so much fun together, and life is pretty blissful, despite not the most ideal of circumstances. But having to adjust has filled me with a certain anxiety that does awful things to my self-esteem and I’m not going to lie, has affected my relationship with Cristian. I often doubt that I’m being a very good wife or that I’m who he deserves or has always wanted (even though he tells me constantly that I am).
So. Like in my Instagram post, something he told me last week has sparked a fire in me. The fact that I’m not necessarily lost — I just need to redefine myself.
So I’m taking some baby steps. The first one? Changing this blog!
I’ve decided I need to take it in a different direction. Don’t worry, there will still be beauty and fashion posts, but there will also be some more serious ones — like about the struggles we’ve faced as a newlywed couple, little personal essays about being Mormon, etc etc.
And I’ve had the idea for the name and the direction, really, for a while now but wanted to save it for when we could fill our den a little more. (wink, wink.)
But after having the realization I did, I was like, why should I wait for babies to start “The Joubert Den?” That way once I do, it’ll be all ready for them! And it won’t be strange that I all of sudden start blogging about motherhood and family life because I’ll have already been doing similar with blogging about marriage and the life Cristian and I share.
I’m so excited and feel so strongly that this is what I need to do right now. I miss journalism and my old newspaper job. So much that it often makes me cry. So I’m deciding to change it by being more serious about this blog. It won’t be the same, but it will be so, so good.
I’m so excited and hope you all will join me and Cristian on this journey!
I sent her photos of my color palette and floral designs I’d seen on Pinterest. I told her I wanted lots of greenery and that I loved the “cascading bouquet” look. She’s a close friend of my aunt’s so she was able to give us a fabulous deal on the flowers and really went above and beyond for us.
As Jennifer and my aunt were prepping the flowers the day before the wedding, I texted my aunt asking if they could somehow incorporate my uncle’s (who passed away a few years ago) ring into my bouquet. It’s just a simple ring that spins, and a couple of the stars are worn out, but it’s one he wore often. And ever since he died and I got the ring, I’d always planned on incorporating it into my future bridal bouquet.
The bridesmaids chose dresses in a burgundy/wine color, and the groomsmen’s ties matched. Cristian’s tie was a forest green.
Believe it or not, the flower girl dresses were from Dillard’s!
And our reception…don’t get me started. It was so beautiful!
I collected vintage amber bottles for the flowers from antique and thrift stores.
Our florist’s husband used his chainsaw to cut the wood rounds out of a tree my aunt had recently cut down in her yard! (Again, above and beyond, people!)
We also found various chalkboards to write fun things on, like our wedding hashtag and the menu. Oh, did I mention we had our very own Snapchat filter for the reception?!
My mom catered, and it was amaaazing. (Well, what I had the time to eat at the reception was amazing 😉 )
We wanted an Italian/comfort food theme to go with the Autumn season and colors. So we served things like Lemon Chicken Piccata and Mac n’ Cheese, complete with an antipasti crostini bar.
And oh man, our desserts were to DIE for.
We decided to do a few different types of cupcakes and HAD to do a French Toast one, in honor of the French Toast tradition we have, which stems back to when we were dating 6 years ago.
My aunt made the sign for the entry with this pin as inspiration and it turned out EXACTLY how I wanted it! (Thanks, Tana! xoxo!)
For our exit, we put LED lights inside gold and white balloons, since our venue didn’t allow sparklers.
Our photographer Stephanie had Cristian meet her at our venue, (which was less than 10 minutes away from the temple, by the way!) while I got dressed and had him wait where she wanted to take the pictures with his back turned. She met me at the top of the trail, and my sister helped me walk down to him (it was a little treacherous with my heels, train, and the wet leaves on the path that had a downward slope, haha).
I walked up behind him and put my hands over his eyes. I recently asked Cristian how he was feeling/what he was thinking in that moment. He said reality was hitting him — that this was it. He would finally get to be with me for eternity.
I kept my hands over his eyes there for a bit, let go, and turned him around.
He took a good look at me and we embraced.
And if I couldn’t love him any more, Cristian started to cry.